How Change Changes from Hard to Easy
Change is hard, we all know that, but isn’t everything changing all the time? Isn’t growing also changing? And how come then, if that’s natural, it doesn’t feel natural to change?
A law of nature is that everything that’s alive, keeps ‘growing’, or let’s say, keeps evolving. A tree goes through its cycle throughout the seasons and it keeps growing. Even humans, when their body stops growing, it still keeps regenerating. Our skin replaces itself completely within about 27 days. So you literally have a new skin every month.
This process of change is being triggered by our genes. Simply said they trigger a protein called collagen that is mostly responsible for the regeneration of the skin cells. We don’t control this changing process consciously with our brain of course. So our body changes by other influences than just our brain.
When we’re going through a conscious change, it is experienced as hard. Because consciousness is the domain of the brain.
That organ is one of the laziest ones we have and the most efficient one at the same time. Being a relatively very small part of our body it uses about 20% of our daily energy. So it better be efficient and it doesn’t like to spend more energy than necessary.
Habits and beliefs are programs
That’s where habits come into play. Habits are actions performed by the body within an overly rehearsed and repeated program of actions, thoughts and feelings. It becomes a subconscious set of actions, so your active conscious brain can keep its focus on the ‘new’ things. Same goes for beliefs. They are the thoughts you have been repeating over and over again, so they become automatic. The more habits you have, the easier it is for your brain. Ergo: lazy. But effective.
And any change goes straight against this principle because the brain then needs to invest more energy, in something that also can be repeated when done in the ‘old way’. And your brain — being your center of everything — including thoughts, hormonal release, and many more functions, is not looking for that extra work when it can ‘think of reasons not to’.
So it will prefer to let you use your habits to go through life. Funny thing is, that it has also had certain thought patterns being programmed as habits. So even your thoughts can become a habit. And because there’s a direct link between what you feel and what you think, they keep each other fed with the right program, the right ‘habits’.
Besides, your brain is the only organ that has to control itself (funny side note: your brain is, therefore, the only organ that named itself). So if it can implement thoughts that will help you stay in your habitual state, it will do that. And why not. It’s effective because it works.
That is why, when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you do is when you gain consciousness out of your sleeping state it will fire your habits of thoughts. Your worries, your problems, your surrounding, your identity, everything, so it is ready to go through the day the same way as yesterday. That means you’re actually living in a reality, based on the past: a past present, transformed into present reality.
So wanting to change anything, in particular in your behavior or even worse, your mindset, means that it is a direct attack against your brain’s structure of operation. No wonder it’s doing everything it can to protect that!
So how do you change then?
Does that mean we can’t change? No, not at all. Something being hard to do doesn’t mean it can’t be done at all.
We need to use a loophole in the process of the brain.
Use its weak spot, with its own strength.
What that is? Let me explain.
I call it the ‘vision reality reprogramming’ process.
Dividing your mind into a conscious and subconscious mind, there are two main huge differences between them (besides the fact one is conscious - and the other one part of the unconscious brain). In your conscious mind, you can choose your thoughts and you can accept or deny a thought.
For example: Think of an elephant. There. You thought of an elephant. Now, if you want to deny a thought, you need to think of something else than what you are thinking of.
So if I’d say, think not of an elephant, you have to make a decision on what animal (or whatever thing you chose) you do want to think of.
So we deny thoughts, by changing the subject we’re thinking of.
Now, your subconscious mind, can not do this. It has to accept everything it receives. It can not make a decision to accept or deny. And that’s exactly what you’ve been doing your whole life. All habits, beliefs and daily thoughts you have, have been programmed into that subconscious mind, because that is where your habits and beliefs reside. That’s where they live.
So, if the building of your beliefs and habits have been happening from your experiences of the past reality, day in day out, that’s where we are going to make the change.
A particular strength of our brain is that we can envision something in the future. Something that you want. Often that comes from an experience from your past present; something you don’t want (anymore). Knowing what you don’t want, makes it easier to know what you do want. So, we can imagine how that would look like. We create a vision.
But, there’s an ingredient we need to incorporate to make this reprogramming work. Because your beliefs and habits are intertwined with how you think and how you feel.
Therefore, this envisioning reprogramming only lands if you connect a supporting and desired feeling to it.
This is how you do that.
You need a quiet space for this for around 15 minutes. Sit and relax and pay attention to your breathing. Take 3 deep breaths in and out, and feel you become more relaxed every time you exhale.
Now, try to see, with your eyes closed, in your mind, how your future reality should look like (what you want), how it smells, what sounds you hear, how the touch with your fingers feel. But don’t stop there. Try to figure out how that would make you feel. How would it feel if that would really be your reality? And try to summon that feeling within you while you envision your future reality. Keep the thoughts and vision alive and the feeling connected for as long as you can. Let’s call it daydreaming. You’re daydreaming towards your vision.
Now this may require some practice if you’ve never done this, so don’t worry if you only can keep this for a second or so the first time. Keep practicing this daily. Better even twice a day. That will speed up the process.
You’re brain isn’t easily fooled. It’s your brain.
Also understand, that your brain will know exactly what you’re doing (it’s your brain, so of course it knows) and it will throw anything towards you to get out and stop what you’re doing.
It might introduce a thought: “Wait, I’m meditating now? What the hell? That’s BS. I can’t meditate. This isn’t working for me. This isn’t working at all. I’m wasting my time. I got to go do productive work. I need to take more action. I have to stop this, I’m stopping this… “ and so on and so on. But: you don’t stop. You know it’s just a voice from your brain trying to save it’s energy. And who’s the boss here, you or the brain?
You are the master of your conscious brain, the brain is not the master of you. You are the master and your brain is your servant. NEVER let this be the other way around and let your brain talk you out of something like this!
So change those thoughts. Stay put. Stay silent. Focus on the breathing. Keep the vision alive. It’s your thoughts, you are the master of your thoughts. And you’re stronger than the brain. At least for these 15 minutes you are.
Strip away any judgment of thoughts that do pass by, or labels (like the label you might have on meditating), and focus on your inner being, that part of you you call “I”. That’s the one who’s running the show. Not your brain, not your habits, not your beliefs.
When you are able to hold that vision (the thought) and the accompanying feeling, you are creating a new reality: your future present.
And since your subconscious brain has to accept everything we put in, it will replace the old way of thinking — based on the past present, with the new beliefs and habits of the future present.
We know we can change thoughts by replacing them consciously. So, this is how you use it.
The moment you wake up and your habitual thoughts start to fire up: you can consciously shift them from your past present to your new future present thoughts.
Feel grateful for that new reality you’ve created in your brain.
And when you do this every day for a couple of weeks, you are implementing a new habit. A new program your brain then has to accept.
So how does this affect change in your reality? Well, that type of change only happens when your thoughts, feelings, and actions change. And actions are always based on how you feel and how you act.
So do you think you can change easily when you’re still living in the past present? Not very likely. But, if you create a new future present and have new beliefs and habits — aligned with your envisioned thoughts and feelings — your reality has to change, there is no other way.
We reprogram our habits, beliefs and other subconscious programs to the ones that will help us move forward. Help us grow. Make the changes you want, based on the life you want to live. Not the life you’ve lived so far.
And that, is how you Master Your Personality.